scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
