U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
