On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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