Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize