I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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