He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
