Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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