He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
