feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
