he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
