I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
