He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I have fence marks all over my body
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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