grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
i think im in europe. pls send help
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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