1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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