Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
