We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
