When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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