Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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