She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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