we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
