On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
There's a naked man in my car right now.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
