Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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