That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Floor bacon is actually really good
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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