dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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