Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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