He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize