im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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