ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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