Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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