No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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