yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
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The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
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That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
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