No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize