We're facebook friends in real life
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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