You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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