I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
