you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
