Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
