So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.