Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
too bad you live with your parents still
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
