is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going