You can't special order awesome
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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