I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
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I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
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I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you