Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
