Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
