Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
