Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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