Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
