turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
