I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
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I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
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This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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