My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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