well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
