just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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