Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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