I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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