if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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