arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
