arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
