Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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