Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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