I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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