called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
