theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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