I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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