He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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