Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
